Welcome to the inaugural blog of Love.Eat.Heal.
Learning the mindset of LOVE from my Dad
Selecting LoveEatHeal as my business and website name was a very conscious decision. Love isn’t an easy topic to navigate. In this inaugural post, I’m going to dive into love.
The person who taught me the most about love was my dad. Not by his words, but by his deeds. Love oozed out of him – be it the twinkle in his eyes, his big crooked-toothed grin, the way he lived his life, the way he treated people he loved, his kindness to strangers, his passion for his work; whatever he did, he lived fully in.
In my eyes, Dad=Love.
Don’t get me wrong, he was also very human with real problems; he made mistakes, and experienced hardship and disease, and misfortune. He lived with all the feels.
When daddy was transitioning, he conveyed a clear, unspoken message to me “Live while you are living, and love and be loved." I’ve carried that in my heart since March 12, 2019, and promised to do that!! For him and for me!
Love is our Innocence
Love is a big topic. A word. A feeling. It is oneness and wholeness. It is nothing. It is elusive. It’s everywhere and nowhere. It is in and of you. It is ineffable. It is invisible. It’s been studied, philosophized, and poeticized (is that even a word?)
When asked what my politics and religion are, I answer with one word, “love“.
Love is our innocence, our unconditioned self before life conditioned us into a set of memorized patterns, beliefs, habits, thoughts, and perceptions. To return to love, we must be aware of our thoughts and beliefs, and the conditioning that we experience as we go through life.
When I teach and coach, I show up deeply in love with love. To mirror love. To hold love. Maybe it’s because I am aware of my conditioning or because I am now unlearning all that no longer serves me, that I am migrating from self-judgment towards self-love. I understand that taking care of myself first is the most loving thing I can do for myself and others. And I assure you, loving yourself first is the best thing you can do for yourself and others.
Are you Loveable?
Back to Dad - Love and Be Loved - that is the work of our life.
He asked my mom when they were dating, “Are you loveable?“ I believe he was asking my mom if she was ready for love – to love and be loved.
I used to think that was so adorable and sweet.
What I now see is my dad was a love messenger, and through his words and actions he was a veritable love activist.
My dad retained his innocence, his joie de vivre, and his lovability throughout his life. I am certain he never philosophized or thought about it. He was just it.
Dad took care of Dad – he worked hard and played hard. Dad loved his family unconditionally. He was generous and kind. Dad loved my mom – she was indeed loveable. Dad was that guy – the one who stopped on the highway to help someone whose car was broken down, who gave generously when he had money, who showed up for others and cheered for them. My friends used to say your dad was forever young. I now know what they meant. Dad was love.
Can we take a page out of Dad’s book?
Can we believe we are all loveable?
Can we love and be loved?
I think we can. I know we can.
“If I love myself,
I love you.
If I love you,
I love myself.”
- Rumi -